Next on ‘Two and a Half Men’: Crude and Uncalled For

Chandra

Veteran television actor and The L Word alum Steven Eckholdt guest stars on “Crude and Uncalled For,” the fresh February 1 episode of CBS sitcom Two and a Half Men.

Charlie Sheen, Angus T. Jones, Jon Cryer/Two and a Half Men

He plays Brad, Alan’s lawyer, whose help is desperately needed…

…After Alan gets into a fight at a bar (yes, a bar fight!!!) and ends up in jail. Worse — for Charlie, at least — it seems Chelsea might have a thing for the attorney.

Check out the quickie promo for “Crude and Uncalled For” below. Shocker! As the clip clearly shows, Alan is actually the one who delivers the first blow during the public brawl. Wonders never cease.

Two and a Half Men airs Mondays on CBS at 9pm ET.

Photo: Charlie Sheen, Angus T. Jones, and Jon Cryer (Newscom)

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Next on ‘Accidentally on Purpose’: Attack of the 50 Foot Woman

Chandra

Unfortunately for viewers, there isn’t an actual ginormous female on the brand-new February 1 episode of Accidentally on Purpose called “Attack of the 50 Foot Woman.”

Jenna Elfman/Accidentally on Purpose

Instead we have the same old familiar Billie, who’s behaving extra manipulatively, but for a very good cause.

Tired of coming across like a constant nagger, she decides to find other, more subtle ways to get Zack to do what she wants, such as helping out with chores around her apartment.

Meanwhile, dependably ridiculous Davis pursues and lands a job working at a gay bar to fatten up his wallet a bit.

CBS doesn’t have a promo or sneak peek for “Attack of the 50 Foot Woman” to get us all excited for the episode, but you can take a look at a six-minute clip below featuring Accidentally on Purpose regulars Jon Foster (Zack) and Nicolas Wright (Davis) interviewing series set decorator Eric Hill for the premiere of their so-called lunchtime talk show.

Accidentally on Purpose airs Mondays on CBS at 8:30pm ET.

Photo: Jenna Elfman (Newscom)

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The Big Bang Theory: ‘The Einstein Approximation’ Preview

Chandra

Aaah! A new month, a new episode of CBS’ hit sitcom The Big Bang Theory. Coming up on February 1 is the Sheldon-centric “The Einstein Approximation.”

The Big Bang Theory

And I bet Penny is going to be thrilled during the action, too.

Why? Because when Sheldon gets it into his head that he absolutely must solve a certain physics problem, his strategy for achieving that goal involves him becoming Penny’s colleague at her long-time Cheesecake Factory job. If he scores a waiter gig, I feel sooo sorry for the diners at his tables.

Take a look at both a sneak peek and a promo for “The Einstein Approximation” below.

The Big Bang Theory airs Mondays on CBS at 9:30pm ET.

Photo: Jim Parsons, Johnny Galecki, Kaley Cuoco, Simon Helberg, and Kunal Nayyar (Newscom)

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How I Met Your Mother: ‘The Perfect Week’ Preview

Chandra

New York Yankee Nick Swisher and CBS sportscaster Jim Nantz drop by How I Met Your Mother to play themselves during the brand-new February 1 episode “The Perfect Week.”

How I Met Your Mother

The title refers to lucky Barney, who’s having a fantabulous week thanks to his skills almost hooking up with seven women in seven days.

And since the rest of the gang isn’t experiencing the same good fortune — they’re actually going through a lousy period — Barney’s pals step up and cheer him on as he nears the score that will make his week absolutely, unforgettably perfect.

CBS has both a promo and a sneak peek for “The Perfect Week,” which you can check out below.

How I Met Your Mother airs Mondays on CBS at 8pm ET.

Photo: Jason Segel, Josh Radnor, Cobie Smulders, Alyson Hannigan, and Neil Patrick Harris (Newscom)

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The Middle: ‘The Yelling’ Preview

Chandra

There are no more new episodes of freshman sitcom The Middle scheduled for January, but the comedy returns with fresh installments next month, starting with the February 3 episode “The Yelling.”

Patricia Heaton

As the title hints, the action revolves around very loud voices.

Frankie makes a seemingly hopeless pact with her “lively” — to put it mildly — children: If they complete their homework and household chores without her having to force them to do so, she’ll stop constantly nagging and yelling at them. We’ll see about that.

Also, Frankie’s husband Mike teams up with her colleague Bob to deliver snack pastries on the night shift. I sense lots of tension and hilarity ahead for those two.

Sneak a peek at “The Yelling” in the Lesson preview below, which shows what happens when Frankie tries to improve her kids’ naughty behavior by making them watch a very unique video starring her and them. Poor Bob, stuck there on the sofa for the event.

The Middle airs Wednesdays on ABC at 8:30pm ET.

Photo: Patricia Heaton (Newscom)

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Cougar Town: ‘All the Wrong Reasons’ Preview

Chandra

ABC’s Cougar Town is currently taking a brief break from presenting new episodes, but the hit rookie comedy returns with fresh funny called “All the Wrong Reasons” on Wednesday, February 3.

Courteney Cox/Cougar Town

At the center of the installment is a rift between Jules and her gal pal Ellie, all over…

That’s right, you guessed it — a man. The male in question is what they consider a “hot” young tennis instructor.

And while the ladies annoy each other relentlessly as they compete for his attention, Andy and Grayson join together to support Bobby as he tries to get over his ex-wife yet again.

Check out two sneak peeks for “All the Wrong Reasons” below: Lonely (poor Jules somehow gets the idea that she may remain all by her lonesome forever) and Tennis (Jules and Ellie get into it over tennis and that man).

Cougar Town airs Wednesdays on ABC at 9:30pm ET.

Photo: Courteney Cox (Newscom)

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Secret Diary of a Call Girl: Meet the Real Belle de Jour

Chandra

Before the racy cable comedy Secret Diary of a Call Girl officially kicks off its third season on Monday, February 1, Showtime will present a half-hour special called Billie and the Real Belle Bare All on the preceding Monday, January 25, at 10pm ET.

Billie Piper/Secret Diary of a Call Girl

True to the title, the pre-season premiere event features series star Billie Piper participating in an interesting conversation with the real-life inspiration for her call-girl character Hannah Baxter/Belle de Jour, namely U.K. research scientist Dr. Brooke Magnanti.

For those who haven’t been paying attention, the television series Secret Diary of a Call Girl is based on the Blogspot blog (Yes — really!) Belle de Jour: Diary of a London Call Girl, which was written anonymously by a scribe using the pen name Belle de Jour. The author managed to remain completely anonymous all the way until November 2009, when she finally outed herself to the U.K. media as Magnanti.

Showtime’s upcoming special depicts what happens when Piper meets the doctor who financed part of her education by working as a high-class prostitute. The encounter promises to be both revealing and intimate, and will give viewers more in-depth details about Magnanti’s time spent working in the oldest profession of them all.

Sneak a quick peek at what’s in store in the following preview clip called Belle’s First Client, which features Magnanti telling Piper all about her very first gig as a call girl.

Season Three episodes of Secret Diary of a Call Girl will begin airing Mondays on Showtime at 10pm ET on February 1.

Photo: Billie Piper (Showtime)

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Secret Diary of a Call Girl: Season Three Premiere Preview

Chandra

Showtime’s U.K. comedy import Secret Diary of a Call Girl opens its third season on Monday, February 1, at the new, earlier time of 10pm ET.

Billie Piper/Secret Diary of a Call Girl

Now that Belle’s first book has been published, it’s no surprise that the accomplishment plays a central role in her life.

She not only goes undercover in disguise to attend the party in honor of the book’s launch so she can observe people’s real reaction to it, but she also finds herself under pressure from her publisher to write a follow-up book. If only Belle were certain she has enough to discuss in a second volume.

Meanwhile, in the midst of Belle’s newfound success as an author, her sister Jackie arrives without notice after she discovers her husband is an adulterer. Guess who she wants to be her new roommate in her time of distress.

Check out two sneak peeks for the February 1 third-season premiere below: First Review (Belle pays her publisher a visit) and Great Disguise (Belle attends the party for her book launch dressed in disguise).

Season Three episodes of Secret Diary of a Call Girl will air Mondays on Showtime at 10pm ET, beginning on February 1.

Photo: Billie Piper (Michael Elins/Showtime)

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Cougar Town: ‘Stop Dragging My Heart Around’ Preview

Chandra

The fresh January 20 episode of ABC’s Cougar Town is called “Stop Dragging My Heart Around.”

Courteney Cox/Cougar Town

After Jules breaks up with Jeff, she relies on her ex-husband Bobby for comfort.

However, the situation gets complicated when they end up kissing after drinking some wine.

Also, Travis’ plans for his girlfriend Kylie (Spencer Locke, Ned’s Declassified School Survival Guide) take an unexpected turn one night and Laurie learns Grayson has something in common with Jules.

Preview “Stop Dragging My Heart Around” in the following sneak peek called Fried.

Cougar Town airs Wednesdays on ABC at 9:30pm ET.

Photo: Courteney Cox (Newscom)

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Modern Family: ‘Fifteen Percent’ Preview

Chandra

Next up on ABC’s hit rookie sitcom Modern Family is the new January 20 episode “Fifteen Percent,” which features The Usual Suspects cast member Chazz Palminteri as the character Shorty.

Modern Family

Shorty is a friend of Jay, who begins to wonder about his sexuality after Mitchell mentions that he thinks Shorty might be gay and in the closet.

Meanwhile, Claire has issues with her husband Phil’s universal remote and Manny’s date gets a makeover from his mom Gloria.

Sneak a peek at “Fifteen Percent” in the following hilarious preview clip called Technology. Apparently, Claire’s not too bright when it comes to electronic stuff.

Modern Family airs Wednesdays on ABC at 9pm ET.

Photo: Bob D’Amico/ABC

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