The late-night comedians have been mocking NBC over its controversial shakeup of its late-night stars, with the sharpest digs coming from Jay Leno and Conan O’Brien themselves. Here’s a roundup of the latest quips:
Jay Leno
“NBC said the show performed exactly as they expected it would and then canceled us. Don’t confuse this when we were on at late night and performed better than expected and they canceled us. That was totally different.”
“Kev, if we did get canceled, it will give us time to maybe do some traveling. In fact, I understand Fox is beautiful this time of year.”
“Sure you heard these rumors that NBC is talking about canceling our show. You know what that means? I didn’t sleep with any of my staff for nothing.”
“I take pride in one thing. I leave NBC prime time the same way I found it — a complete disaster.”
Conan O’Brien
“Hosting ‘The Tonight Show’ has been the fulfillment of a life-long dream for me. And I just want to say to the kids out their watching, you can do anything you want in life. Unless Jay Leno wants to do it, too.”
“Welcome to NBC, where our new slogan is ‘no longer just screwing up prime time.’”
“I just wanted to go over some of the rumors that have been flying around. Just check these out: “The ‘Jay Leno Show’ is going to be canceled is one. Jay is moving to 11:30 and I’m moving to midnight. Both of our shows will be on at 11:30, running simultaneously in split-screen. The ‘Tonight Show’ will be an iPhone app, and the ‘Jay Leno Show’ will become an Xbox game. Jay and I are quitting both our shows and co-starring in a new buddy cop drama called ‘Coco and the Chin.’ Jay and I will be joining the cast of ‘Jersey Shore’ as a new character called ‘The Awkward Situation.’ I’m pregnant with Jay’s baby. Jay is pregnant with my baby. We’re both pregnant with Tiger Woods’ babies. NBC is gonna throw me and Jay in a pit with sharpened sticks. The one who crawls out alive gets to leave NBC.”
Read more jokes about the Leno-Conan battle, including David Letterman’s Top Ten Signs There’s Trouble At NBC.
See Also:
Latest Late-Night Jokes
The Late-Night Joke-O-Matic
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Jokes About the Leno-Conan Shakeup originally appeared on About.com Political Humor on Monday, January 11th, 2010 at 19:26:10.