The head of my company is in the office today for some major meetings with our Sales Directors. It?s kind of a big deal because she is only here two or three times a year. So I am pretty sure she doesn?t know my name, what department I work for, or if I even speak English. But she greeted me warmly when I almost ran her over in the mailroom today. This little interaction, make that a near collision, got me to thinking: How sad is it that after 2 + years at this company there are still people

Remember when you were growing up and someone was teaching you how to fish and they let you try and try and try to take the fish hook out of the fish’s mouth, but it never went smoothly?
You can bet your butt that instead of struggling with that fishhook that never seemed to be able [...]

Have you ever paid extraneous amount of money and waited long amounts of time in line to go on a roller coaster ride, then as your ride neared the end gates there was that sort of ambiguous feeling in your gut, like the guy running the ride might pull a level and make it just [...]

Little boys will never cease to burn Barbie. It is their duty, but if these were my kids, I would whip me some kid ass.

Its like my brother was born with the innate ability to locate matches and lighter fluid and find Barbie and burn that bitch.

What a day I had yesterday, folks. Not in a good way, either. I promise you, the life of a bad ass soccer mom can be a lot more stressful than you think. Let me take you back to yesterday afternoon.It was the first soccer practice since before Christmas. I was already in a bad mood because I hate to hang around with those soccer moms. Go figure! So, I obviously had to fill my pimp cup up to the brim with a little medicinal vodka this day. Most of the ladies know to back the hell off when they se

…so what’s the deal, is he still alive or what?

Last time I heard, he was still smokin’ cigarettes and battling some sort of unbattleable form of cancer.? Now I see he’s got a new show on TV where he fires rocket launchers at buildings, then presumably dances around with Jennifer Grey afterwords.? Or is it [...]

To get a sense of the nature of Canada, consider the following:

While I write this, Hamas continues to lob rockets at Israeli civilians while Israel is battling in Gaza to stop them. There is loss of life on both sides.
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Economic turmoil continues unabated around the globe, including here in Canada.
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Two nuclear powers, India and Pakistan, [...]

Note 1: The material in this post is a meticulously accurate record of what I have been told by the extraterrestrials themselves, and of what I have observed (most carefully, I might add) of their behavior. Any errors or misrepresentations are entirely their fault.Note 2: In assembling my list of extraterrestrial races, I have relied on Wikipedia?s ?List of Extraterrestrials in Fiction.? Of course, I could have constructed a list without Wikipedia?s help, based entirely on my own recollections.

Just when I was getting ready to have Lorena Bobbitt’s name permanently laminated on the “Craziest Wife EVER” trophy, I read the little ditty about an Australian lassie who saw her husband hug another woman.Did she ginsu his junk off, a la Bobbitt? No…she went a little pyro on us and doused his genitals with alcohol and then SET THEM ON FIRE.(Get your hot nuts…get your hot nuts here….)Apparently the fire in his crotch woke him up with a start and he leaped off the bed. This action knocked

Gas is still under $2 a gallon – I never paid more than $25 to fill my tank during the entire trip to OH and back. It’s such a relief.My husband is still a non-smoker! He spent 4 days with his chain smoking relatives and not only did he not smoke a single cig – he turned into the non-smoker who lectures the smokers on how if he can quit anyone can! I’m sure it annoyed them a bit but I LOVED it.I won $225 in a football pool and can really use the cash so this is good.I should have my sign-