Today in ex-Monty Python player significant other news, it turns out that John Cleese's girlfriend is older than she claims to be:

British comedian John Cleese, known for his work with the comedy group Monty Python, is very fit and active at age 69, his girlfriend says.

U.S. actress Barbie Orr, who says she's 27, said the "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" actor also has undergone medical and dental procedures to stave off the effects of old age, the Daily Mail reported Saturday…

While Cleese apparently has taken steps to feel younger, U.S. records indicate Orr has simply subtracted 18 years off her actual age to reach that goal.

The Mail said, according to records, Orr is actually 45 years old despite her claims to the contrary.

This is really unfortunate, or maybe fortunate for someone. How will John Cleese feel when next year, she turns out to be even older?

Is there any product in the universe that screams “I suffer from clinical, crippling depression” louder than the Snuggie? “The world is rotting from the inside,” it seems to say. “Why make your stay under this blanket temporary? We’ll reverse age you until you’re three-and-a-half or your money back!” So I was happy to see some Canadians making fun of it today:

[Via BuzzFeed]

Hey guys, I saw this really good movie last night. I don’t know if you’ve heard of it — it’s called Star Wars. It’s about an alien named Obi-Wan Kenobi who gets killed and turns into a shiny blue ghost who has to spend the rest of eternity making pottery with Demi Moore. Actually, maybe that’s not exactly true — it’s three movies, not one. You kind of have to see it.

In the meantime, this maybe explains it a little better:

Star Wars: Retold (by someone who hasn’t seen it) from Joe Nicolosi on Vimeo.

(Via BoingBoing)

Strange things can happen when you’re eating Chinese food in the big city. For instance, the one time I get the fortune, “Live in THIS moment” [capitalization theirs], I was 0:47 into this video, third runner up for best music video filmed clandestinely at a senior yearbook photo shoot, 2006:

[Via Videogum]

"Because we're in a recession," has become my favorite all-purpose zeitgeisty excuse. Because we're in a recession, I can't afford to stop adjusting my diet around the month-to-month changes to the Wendy's Super Value Menu. Because we're in a recession, I can't not consume Battlestar Galactica fan fiction like a wolverine in a Montessori preschool. Because we're in a recession, I can't give any of my young cousins, ex-girlfriends or Insider colleagues their noses back.

But, because we're in a recession, I can offer you Eugene Mirman pretending to be a Saudi prince on CNBC:

The Internet is the only place in the world where you can observe people venally jockeying for fame and fortune, testing the limits of their creativity, or, for just $8.99/mo, jerking off into any element on the periodic table. And, according to Amy Sedaris, sometimes you can even find comedy on the Internet.

If you happen to run across any of this comedy, please send its whereabouts in a first class envelope to The Insider c/o The World Wide Web, Tube 9000, The Ether, MO, 10101.

The last time I sincerely felt my own mortality, I realized it was time to leave my life as an intoxicated, free spirited college student with no worldly responsibility to fulfill my lifelong dream of moving to a dank basement apartment in South Slope, Brooklyn and becoming a web copywriter.

Coulton is still struck by the sheer unlikelihood of his success, which has earned him a comfortable living through online music sales and gigs writing music for TV, Web sites and video games. But when many new parents might have stayed with the reliability of a desk job, he knew he had to do something else.

"When my daughter was born, I felt my own mortality very acutely," he said. "You're like 'Oh I get it. My grandfather is dead. My father is now a grandfather. I am now a father. I see where this is going,' you know? I wanted to give her an example of somebody doing what they wanted to do instead of staying in a job that wasn't really what they wanted to do because it was safe. That's the kind of decision I would want her to make when she gets older so it seemed hypocritical to not make that leap myself."

Ah well. Different Strokes. Check out the article here, or the full audio interview here.