Ever since you were born, people have found themselves drawn to you. You have a superstar personality. You are charming and fascinating. You believe in hard work and persistence. You know how to make your big dreams a reality. You are demanding, but your standards are reasonable. And you demand the most from yourself.

Hat tip: Phil of Phils Phun

I’m sorry I haven’t been around much. My car needed washing so I went to the car wash again and I had them rewash the car three times. They kept missing spots!

In the future, if you don’t hear from me for a week or more, you’ll know where I am.

I’ll be at the car wash again!

Hat tip: My sister ♥Debbie♥

Her wedding date was rapidly approaching and Rachel knew she needed to tell her fiance that she couldn’t marry him, but she was afraid that he would commit suicide. So she went to the church to seek for the advice of the parish priest. The parish priest said, “You do realize that you’re the third girl that has left this young man standing in the alter, don’t you? And, I believe that you know who the other two are. He’s going to be devastated when you tell him. What reason are you going to give him for not going through with the wedding?”

“Well Father, he has extra toes on both feet” said Rachel. “I’m afraid he’ll pass that trait along to his children. My daughters should be able to wear cute sandals. I don’t want them to have to wear clunky shoes at the beach to cover up their extra toes. How do you suggest I handle this breakup?”

The priest replied, “How do you know about the extra toes?”

Before she could answer, Sister Marina came rushing into the room. “Father! Father!” she shouted. You’re not going to believe this.” Then she pointed at the window and said, “The groom has grabbed a hacksaw and he is threatening to saw off his toes! He said that he may have extra toes but no one knows she has actually decided to leave me because she has found another man and he is going to let himself bleed to a slow and agonizing death unless either she learns to accept him with his extra toes or finds a way to raise money, so that he can have them surgically removed.”

He thinks the best way she could do this, would be to bake wedding cakes and sell them on the corner. and then she really didn’t come clean about having a third breast situated just above her right kneecap.

This was all going so horribly wrong. The priest hollered out, “Wait just a cotton pickin’ minute everybody and slow down. First we’ve got to take a moment to just enjoy life.”

The priest asked to see the third breast. Rachel said, “Are your sure Father? Aren’t you celebate?” The priest said it was all right. Rachel showed him. The priest said, “It’s only a wart.” Rachel said that it explained a lot.

Suddenly a nun charged into the room and said how better to enjoy life than to play toesies with some one who has all of those extra toes. Then and only then after this great thrill will I seriously consider marrying him.

However, the young bride-to-be decided to do some research, and discovered that men with extra toes are more virile and that sounded interesting to Rachel. Now she can’t wait for the honeymoon! So she planned what to wear on her wedding night and all the fun escapades they would have, except she forgot to buy back the wedding ring or where to find her jeweler. But that’s okay because she has another idea which is to call the other two young ladies that had left this groom standing at the alter. She asked the first one, “What were your plans for your wedding night?”

To her amazement, the reply was she was going to paint his toenails so that she could get used to looking at them, but, the more she thought of it, the more gross it seemed, and while he was a handsome, kind man, the idea of him being less than perfect disgusted her, as it had the others.

The truth is though that the 3rd girl was not the only who also had flaws, the other two had long hair all over their bodies and fangs for teeth and he was willing to over look those flaws because he loved them for what they were. Turns out all three girls were the same person, just going through plastic surgery. Everyone started eating the wedding cake and singing Copa Cabana!

Then a mystery woman walked in laughing her head off. “Don’t you know you are just having a bad nightmare Rachel? None of this is real.”

Rachel looked down at her ring finger and sure enough her engagement ring was there. She decided to check her fiance for extra toes and he didn’t have extra toes. She was a bit disappointed about the virile thing, but was happy that her children would be normal.

Everyone that participated in this story game is invited to the wedding next Saturday.

Contributing Authors (in order of appearance):

Sam of Show Me Your Interest
DrillerAA of Brain Freeze
Barb of WillThink4Wine
Grandpa of The Word Mechanic
Ettarose of Sanity On Edge

Shinade of The Painted Veil
Unfinished Rambler of Unfinished Rambler
Kat of Cradles, Crafts and Whatnot
Empress Bee (of the High Sea) of Muffin53
Jeff B of A Word In Edgewise
Mike Golch of Rambling Stuff

Bud Weiser of WTIT: The Blog
Willy of Hillbilly Willy – Fun, Food & Politics
Paul of Pauls Health Blog
Pam of Finding Pam
Queen Mimi of Mimi Writes…

Skywind of Eyes in Kaleidoscope
PinkLady of Sheepish Thoughts
Lynda of The Loft of Love by Lynda
Ron Russell of Penny Patch – Politely Patrician
Speedcat Hollydale of Speedcat Hollydale Page

A great big THANK YOU to everyone that contributed to Rachel’s Wedding. You are all awesome!

One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live.

They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.

On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, “How was the trip?”

“It was great, Dad.”

“Did you see how poor people live?” the father asked.

“Oh yeah,” said the son.

“So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?” asked the father.

The son answered:

“I saw that we have one dog and they had four.

We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end.

We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night.

Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.

We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight.

We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.

We buy our food, but they grow theirs.

We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them.”

The boy’s father was speechless.

Then his son added, “Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are.”

Isn’t perspective a wonderful thing? Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don’t have.

Hap tip: Nick M.