Funny Stuff from George Carlin and Other Comedians
Cat vs. Balloon 0:59
This cat doesn’t care about your birthday balloon at all.
Submitted by: thathappened
Regular
Keywords: cat cats catty kitty kitties kitten twin doppleganger same mirror scared fight fighting birthday birthday balloon balloon slap smack fail failed failure pop claws
Views: 31,071
The Tao of @JoseCanseco
When you think of Jose Canseco you think of words like “steroids” and “snitch.” What if I told you that the man is one of life’s greatest philosophers? Follow me inside of the mind of a man that really should be an inspiration to us all.
Submitted by: PaulyPeligroso
Regular
Keywords: Jose Canseco PaulyPeligroso Twitter
Views: 17,906
Jay-Z and Beyonce’s Ultras… 1:02
Exclusive footage of Jay-Z and Beyonce’s unborn baby. He’s gonna be a star!
Submitted by: TubularGoldmine
The Crypt
Keywords: beyonce jay-z pregnant baby ultrasound
Views: 3,502
Shelby Cross is tired of seeing couples having intercourse through her binoculars.
Shelby Cross is tired of seeing couples having intercourse through her binoculars.
5 Friends You Make During …
Welcome to College. First things first, get to the know people around you. Really get to know them… since there’s no chance you’ll ever talk to them again.
Submitted by: AGeneralNonchalance
Regular
Keywords: college college freshman college friends college jokes freshman year freshman year jokes college freshman trends college tips freshman year tips
Views: 84,016
Since many of the late-night shows have been in reruns the last couple of weeks, you can get your joke fix by reading our selection of the best jokes from recent months by Letterman, Leno, Stewart, Colbert, Maher, Conan, Ferguson, Kimmel, Fallon, and Meyers.
A few gems:
“Texas Governor Rick Perry distanced himself from George W. Bush by saying, ‘I went to Texas A&M. He went to Yale.’ In other words, his idea of instilling confidence is by saying, ‘Don’t worry. I’m not as smart as George W. Bush.’” -Conan O’Brien
“Lenscrafters is upset with Tea Partier Michele Bachmann because she called Planned Parenthood ‘the Lenscrafters of abortion.’ Lenscrafters released a statement today calling her ‘the Costco of crazy.’” —Conan O’Brien
“President Obama will begin a three-state bus tour. I believe the three states are confusion, delusion, and desperation.” —Jay Leno
“What?! The congressman had a sex scandal and had to apologize to Bill Clinton? For what?! Copyright infringement?”—Jon Stewart, on Weinergate
“Donald Trump showed his birth certificate to reporters. Who cares about his birth certificate? I want to know if that thing on his head has had its vaccinations.” —Craig Ferguson
“It’s just so great to be back on Fox News, a network that both pays me and shows me the questions ahead of time. I just hope that tonight the lamestream media won’t twist my words by repeating them verbatim.” —Tina Fey as Sarah Palin
Read more of the year’s best late-night jokes…
See Also:
Latest Late-Night Jokes
Best Jokes About the GOP Candidates
Rick Perry Jokes
Barack Obama Jokes
ARLINGTON, TX—Compassionate Texas Rangers catcher Mike Napoli could not bring himself to throw out Rays’ 37-year-old outfielder Johnny Damon as he attempted to steal second base Tuesday, allowing the two-time All Star to safely take the bag in…
NEW YORK—The nation’s top experts unanimously agreed Tuesday that the current struggles of the U.S. economy were no reason whatsoever to stop investing in print media, which they said was easily the safest and most profitable place to invest one’s money.
Jacquelyne Dyamond’s Intima… 5:00
This sexy Channel 101 show explores the secret places where love and lust intermingle. In the first episode, a lonely scientist learns a thing or two about “biology.” When brains meet beauty, the “chemistry” is undeniable!’
Submitted by: paulbonanno
Regular
Keywords: Intimate Indiscretions Robot sex sexy radio show
Views: 151